| The mind's eye |
[Jul. 26th, 2008|03:01 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | home | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Electric Blue - The Cranberries | ] |
As they sat around the morning campfire
the sun risen on the cold mountain camp
he said, "I saw a boy playing having fun, who
was bitten by a snake and I yelled for help."
she asked, "you didn't try to help him?"
"I tried to call for help, but no one came."
"You couldn't help him get the venom out?
You could not call for 9-1-1 to come and save him."
"I did not know what else to do I was shocked."
The others gasped in disbelief as the fire shot up.
"What a horrible way for that poor boy to die,"
another man said, "and you just watched him
die before you?"
"No, I don't know what happened next. I woke up."
"Oh," the man relaxed, "it was a dream. So, were you the boy?"
"No."
"What he means," a friend clarified, "is that he was the boy, the snake and the man watching."
Everyone paused to reflect on that statement.
"I once read," a boy began,
"that waking life and sleeping life
are not all that different
in the mind's eye."
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| (no subject) |
[May. 28th, 2007|01:04 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | nostalgic | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | I Took Your Name - R.E.M. | ] |
You begin at birth
and are cast in alpha
thus set by life's bet.
Why were you here again?
Drinking in the wine of remembrance
a drunken sobriety fell away to the dance.
Sound broke through the barriers of light,
for the first time we see music live.
The city of gods was filled with men.
Some claimed they were full of sin.
Though, the sinner sees the sin
can they see it clearly in their sin?
Forgetfulness washed all over nostalgia's bank.
Do you believe in breaking into misery's cell?
He told me of voodoo surrounded by wall's dank.
The heart reverberates each toll of the bell.
When does one end?
Is it at every moment?
Opening the next anew.
Is it at the doors of death?
Is it the death of remembrance?
How far may you reach?
One May End Getting Alpha |
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| Who? |
[May. 28th, 2007|12:27 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  existent | ] |
I walked 10,000 lifetimes to find I never lived.
I searched the world for something that would last and came back empty.
What could anyone possible want from me?
Individuality is an optical illusion.
We are told we make decisions, but what if the grounds of them are the same for all.
What if the mechanism of a decision is something shared?
Why is it that a conflict is not had with one, but two?
Where does the I end and the world begin?
I don't ask of myself, but of something shared that we hold inside.
Each of us thinks to themselves 'I am'.
God calls himself 'I am that I am'.
Are we not pieces of God strewn in a bro-ken world?
Mirrors reflecting themselves.
The dance of Shiva that we become a part of.
Do you ever feel incomplete?
But you look to each other and feel a bond that transcends isolation.
What if we are all the same 'I am'?
The 'I am' that is God in each one of us.
Then what is left of you and I and we.
We speak in optical illusions to fool 'I am' in an attempt to perceive 'I am'.
We try to draw lines where they are not.
Even 'I am not' depends on 'I am' to not be.
Everything incarnate in 'I am'.
What is religion?
Is it like the individual? Broken apart to appear to itself.
What is a question, but a void desiring to be filled?
An answer seeking every void,
only a new form of the emptiness inside one.
Where do you stand? As far from the left as the right.
Direction is non-direction; thus, direction
Belief is doubt; thus, belief.
What if the questions are the only answers?
Void filling void and emptiness filling emptiness.
Holons of nothingness.
What is space, a form of things or the emptiness in which they form?
Thus you died and I reborn in everything thinking itself separate.
Do you know anything? Or do you only learn through the oppositions?
Are you something or are you a list of negations?
Break free of knowledge it holds empty form and forms emptiness.
Pour out self and free self from the form of a self.
Break the contradictions, loose the chains of oppositions.
Are we fated to be free?
Or are we free to be fate?
Why have both when you can have neither?
Are you your body or are you the conditions of existence that make everything and nothing possible?
Are you 'I am' starring with its eye through all things making them possible or do you restrict yourself to something through what you think you are not?
What are boundaries or forms aren't they as empty as emptiness?
What is the self?
Lo(o)se yourself and you will find the self, but never will you be you again. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 31st, 2006|03:12 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | thoughtful | ] |
It's a very very weird feeling to have come back to this after not updating on it for so long. I look back on some of the stuff that I have written here back in senior year and it is amazing to see how much I have changed. I'm going to be honest this may not be a spectacular entry for anyone else, but after all it is my lj right? idk. I have also been using that phrase a bunch. idk. What does it mean? I don't really use it to mean I don't know. I guess its the phrase I use when I'm not quite ready to commit to a thought idea or action. Perhaps it may also soften my ideas for others so they are easier to stomach. Instead of making something to solid for them to choking on, I warm it up so that it melts and they can swallow it down in a more flexible form. I remember in high school that I didn't really care whether people understood what was right as long as they accepted right for what it really was. Now, I don't like that so much. I don't even like arguing with people any more. I just say my two sense (not a spelling error, but instead a metaphor) and if they accept it so be it if not so what. I just care that we find good reasoning for where we are going. I also have had more trouble with religion as tends to be the case. I have shaken it down to the bare minimum of what I always thought it should be. There are just too many variables. I find myself frequently asking others why they make the claims of their certain God. Why is He all powerful? The answer I hear is far from satisfactory. I don't claim to have all the answers. If I did, why do I ask these questions? I think no one really has the answers so trying to explain them is a loss. They are just good to keep in mind before embark on their crusades. Can bad things happen to good ppl? Can good things happen to bad ppl? Both resting on the central questions: what is bad? what is good? Is everything simply good or bad? That one I would give a resounding no to, which is what makes it complicated. All I want is the perfect good. Once reached, there is nothing we can do to break or stop it, but this is also true of the perfect bad. Both are like black holes where we no longer travel in terms of time but in terms of ethical improvement. What if the perfect good and the perfect bad are the same or they meet in some asymptotic anomaly in the graph of ethical spacetime? What if the best end is our end? Thoughts like these plague me. There may not be a perfect good or a perfect bad at all. So, the best we may get is some good. Hopefully, the greatest good in that case, but even that may not be necessary there may be many greatest goods. The greatest goods may be neutral or even still mixed with some bad or may just be the least bad. Its a terrifying thought! Hope for the perfect good where there will be an eternity of perfection for all free of all bad. |
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| 5 O'Clock |
[Jun. 21st, 2006|11:01 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Going Down... | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  down | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | So Much I - RHCP | ] |
How did I forget to tell you of the nutcase
a couple beers short of a full case.
She has an alement so strong,
that whatever I do is wrong.
I broke my heart in two and sold it away.
She came back with heart dust the next day.
She claimed that I turned her wild beast
in front of all the eyes in the east.
I made fun of her calling at five
now am i attacked by an angry hive?
Pain descends on me martian filled skies,
when was what I said a lie?
Break once, break twice, cave the third.
Only the fool repeats himself.
Is there such a thing as unique stupidity?
I give up, I let go, I throw myself groundward.
Who am I to say I am myself?
There is such a thing as an apologetic entity.
Break me
Shake me
Take me
But whom should my mind?
But whom should my heart?
But whom should my body?
She tells me I called her,
who calls at 5 in the morning?
who calls at 5 in the morning?
who calls at 5 in the morning?
who calls at 5 in the morning?
who calls at 5 in the morning?
Do not fear their judgement.
Questions have none mind.
I called at four she said.
Yes and I went to bed.
O! Slanted mind I cry.
Why won't sorr(y/ow) let it die!
Others say she need not call at 5.
Sure. Yes. Perhaps. Agreed. and I've...
Long since let it go
but I want you to know
you told me call at the show
whence returned and retired
a veteran of the night expired.
I remember hand phony
so you might better know me.
Ring Once.
Ring Twice.
Ring Thrice.
Ring Terad.
Ring Pentad.
I'm sorry I'm a poor lad-
Fuck you your not my dad. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 21st, 2006|12:45 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  erg | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Especially in Michigan - RHCP | ] |
So I spent the last hour and a half trying to explain space time on my cell to a Philosophy student. I'm not doing that again. My head hurts and I don't think he knows any more than he did before. And my head hurts. So, if that gives you any idea of how excited I am to ever do that again. Some might argue it was the beer I had, but honestly that made know difference it was the inability of me to have a good chance to explain the math behind it. I prolly should point out after that I decided to stop typing and leave this open and now I woke up and need to go to work. So yeah. Another pointless entry perfectly executed. At least, I managed to talk about something real I did for once. |
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| Surprisingly more accurate than my skeptical self would allow |
[Apr. 15th, 2006|05:07 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  curious | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | What is Love - Haddaway | ] |
| The Keys to Your Heart | 
You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.
In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.
You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.
You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.
Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.
Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.
You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.
In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily. |
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| Who Am I? |
[Apr. 15th, 2006|03:19 am] |
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I don't believe in this world any more. I am completely convinced it doesn't exist. As far as things beyond it, I think that is a stretch of the mind to accept. How can I accept that love has a set existance? Or how about God? Or how about hell? Abstract is so hard when you can't believe in what you see. |
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| Somebody told me to post so I am here posting... |
[Apr. 13th, 2006|05:28 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Memphis | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | chill | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Roxanne - Sting | ] |
Yeah, I really don't know what I wanna say bc I don't what ppl wanna know and I sure as hell don't wanna tell everything either. So here is my mark peeps. Keep it real. |
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| and im an american til the day i die |
[Jul. 6th, 2005|11:43 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  accomplished | ] |
| You Are 93% American |  You're as American as red meat and shooting ranges.
Tough and independent, you think big.
You love everything about the US, wrong or right.
And anyone who criticizes your home better not do it in front of you! |
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| I got the IB Diploma |
[Jul. 6th, 2005|11:34 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | accomplished | ] |
What now??? That's right! So all you lazy people can get behind me give me a big smooch on my cheeks and eat my dust. Booyah! |
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| Seems like there are a bunch of love songs |
[Jun. 8th, 2005|01:33 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Let Me Go // 17 Days by 3 Doors Down
| ] |
We often say the word love often; though, we fear it in other situations. We love our families, love our friends, love our neighbors, etc. Most religons encourage loving one another in one way or another. Jesus even said "Love your neighbor as yourself." The concept of love is all pervasive in our daily words and language. Though, is it really all prevasive in our thoughts? Do we really think in terms of love? Or does love break down into smalller categories than our language gives testement. Does love break down into different levels of strength? Does love change when applied towards different people? Often we might say I love (insert name here) as a friend. The extra qualifer either channels our love in a different direction or evokes another feeling in us and others. This qualifier is never applied when refering to family on the other hand. Family is loved "unconditionally" then. I put unconditionally in quotes not because it doesn't hold that meaning, but because when we say, "I love (someone) as a friend." There is a condition placed there. The condition in the refered to example is as a friend. Otherwise, there is no love outside that particular channel of love. On the other hand, I love my family is unbounded and unconditional. So, does this mean that we love our family more than our friends in our language? Or does this mean that our acctual thoughts and words do not correspond? Either can be tru, but depends on the person. If we truly love everyone or someone, should we love them without modifiers without conditions. Or should we have certain conditions on are love that maintain love for everyone, but only under certain conditions? Should we maintain certain love for individuals? We rarely say that we love ourselves, but we maintain some love for ourselves despite the lack of direct recognition. The capitalization of I in sentences is an example of signifying our importance. The repeated use of reference to ourselves over others in our sentences is another example. Some refer to this as pride. Is it wrong to have some pride? How much love for one's self qualifies as pride? Do we need to appologize? Or is it a particular channel of love that we maintain for ourselves. A certain channel of love is used for pride and other certain channels are for family, friends and significant others. Or are the loves entirely different, in which case how much I love myself has no effect on the amount of love I can provide for others? |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 5th, 2005|10:12 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Stay in Touch | ] |
An analysis. We don't really mean stay in touch and this is not a reference to the figurative sense. If we did then why do two people leave as far as possible how can that be 'in touch'. You and I know it can not mean that. So, if we really don't mean stay in touch in the literal sense then we can't mean it in the figurative sense. I probably just lost half of you already if not all, but if you remain then you must be commited to hearing what I have to say so I will continue. Were we ever really in touch. Most of my frineds are a thirty minute drive away. We aren't touching each other now so why expect our friendships to grow stronger over a 2 hour plane flight distance. The only reasonable answer (though unlikeable) is we don't. We don't expect to keep in contact and in ten years we return and fine that each of us has totally changed while we were not in touch. Did we keep in touch? My answer is no. So, the disagreement in the phrases literal and figurative, current and later values and meantings shows that we never mean stay in touch. That is the most depressing realization I have ever come to and that disappoints me that we have such low standards. How can we fix it? |
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| The Rap thing was awesome as expected! |
[May. 18th, 2005|08:58 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  artistic | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Believe - The Chemical Brothers | ] |
All those who weren't there lost.
Nothing to say for the time being other than school is almost out. Time to go cross country. Oh yeah testing Thursday, Friday and Tuesday. This means I get the day off. Yes!
Other quick facts. I love you all! So, if I don't see you again know that.
G and I skipped yesterday and wrote a weird story in German and studied Physics. That's write studied not studied. ;-) |
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| Rap day!!! I will rap! OJJ Supa Style |
[May. 16th, 2005|10:00 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | cool | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Beloved both versions both cuts | ] |
Rapping tomorrow in English Class at 4th period. Anyone who wants to come is invited. Room 109. Ms. Harlan's room. We're going to lift the house and rock the roof. Be there in school and down cool! Mak and I will both rap. The Beloved mafia. |
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| the library during 1st |
[May. 2nd, 2005|09:03 am] |
G IS A FUCKING IDIOT, if you shoot him, I'll pay you!!!
I think that "miss rawr she" can go to hell and take her little dog too!!! plus if she were to maybe remove the stick from her ass, maybe she'd realize that the problem wasn't us, but her!!!
I forgot what I was eating last night, I had to ask my mom for what is was, an artichoke
P.S. Still has the stick up her ass, and we get kicked out of the library soo sad... |
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| RHODES 2009! |
[Apr. 26th, 2005|07:09 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | complacent | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | I Wish You Were Here - Incubus | ] |
Time of Your Life
Today
All Star
By The Way
Be Yourself
I Am
Somewhere I Belong
So Far Away
Let Me Go |
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| The End . . . |
[Apr. 1st, 2005|06:01 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | accomplished | ] |
I plan on deleting this shortly. So, plan on it and add what needs to be said to finish it.
TO MUCH PROM CRAP! |
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| update for Christine H. |
[Mar. 30th, 2005|09:46 am] |
John: "you defy the laws of bracelets..."
Christine: "you're just wierd..." |
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| Um yeah . . . |
[Mar. 23rd, 2005|04:58 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | meh | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Someday - Flipsyde | ] |
Well I don't think the sprinkler's going to stand up right again and I really don't know what to say about the dog. You know him. The one that hobbles around his bowl madly looking for more beer. Yeah . . .. And I certainly don't know anything about lowering the car insurance after that incident. I did find the bike this morning it was hang from a tree a half mile from the road, but you know what they say about bicyclist. Their math skills are even better than those of rabbits. Oh and the crazy chick with the red hair, now that was quite a ride I think. because I honestly can't remember. I wound up in her house some how and she was wearing my pants. No idea why I was wearing her bra. Go figure. Though, someone told me about the bbq. The one where I tried pouring champagne on the coals to get a bigger fire and how I I tried to put it out with that dude's hair, what was his name. Well, he came in this morning with a paddle. Don't think he was happy. Maybe he told me about that black spot in the middle of his hair, neh. I think I did a good job, he really looks like a pirate now. So, I had to run from him but naked down the hall. I was coming to the end of the hall and their was a door open to my side. I bolted in and I slammed into the bathroom door. There was this chick and this guy, who made it truly feel 'ot. They thought they were shocked until the other guy came in too; then, we had a party. Paddling the other guy's chick probably resulted in the toilet incident. And I and this other french chick were running out the door. I slipped on a white wet towel and landed on the French chick and we were in the hall stacked like pancakes. The red haired chick saw me and was running after me and the other guy, who was beating the burnt haired dude came after me to rescue the chick from my herculean build. What can I say? They all wanted me. When I did wake up, it was without a bruise and they were all a mess. Must have gotten in a fight for me. Just too sexy. At least I'm not dead, my dad could have killed me, but didn't. |
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